Monday, June 02, 2008

Fuck You, You Fucking Fuck

*** WARNING: NUDITY AND FUCK WORDS FOLLOW ***

"You All Suck, Fuckers"

Floyd tires of repeatedly reminding all of you just how much ass you suck. While Floyd sits here creating mountains of excellence, you all just sit around and thumb-fuck yourselves. Feel like taking on the master? Just email Floyd and you will be guaranteed a response: floydslists@hotmail.com. Floyd still does not allow anonymous comments because a pussy little bitch complained about it. Floyd's thought of the update: ever consider taking a shower once in a while? You stink like ass. Salvation can always be found in Floyd's established lists:
Suck it up, fuckers.

* Every last motherfucker involved with this bullshit: Floyd is sick and fucking tired of all you douchebags. The only vote cast that will be worth a shit is one cast for Floyd. Otherwise, eat shit and die, fuckers.




* Floyd's Useless Readers: Here's a little puzzle for all of you dumb fucks. Find the word that best describes your pathetic existence. Once complete, Floyd cordially invites you to cram it up your funhole.




*Jege: What can Floyd say? This chick rocks. It's been a while since Floyd paid tribute. So there!









*Ban Ki-Douche: The head of the U.N. says that genocide in Darfur is because of global warming. Floyd would have lost respect for the U.N. if he had any to begin with. Hey, douchebag: shouldn't you be singing "Ploud Lally" at Karaoke somewhere? Eat a booger, fuckface.







* Pussy Faggot Journalists: What a fucking douchebag. Some dipshit fuckup zipperhead shoots up a college and this twat immediately says we should turn in our guns. Hey, fuckface! You know what would have saved lives at Virginia Tech? All the victims packing heat. Cry Floyd a river about the time you were held up at gunpoint, but Floyd guarantees that mugger wouldn't have come near you if he knew you were strapped.


* Chicks With Small Hands: They make Floyd's cock look bigger.











* War Protesters: All you fucking pussies need to get a job. And take a shower for fuck sake!










* Grandpa Munster: Eddie Van Halen is looking fucking fabulous! Off to rehab again. Floyd has a little clue for Mr. Van Douchebag: there is nothing rehab can do to cure being an asshole.








* Environmentals: Overmedicated, overpaid, overpublicized, undereducated. Floyd needs to take a crap now.







* Millions Of Dollars From Foreigners: Floyd gets at least three emails per day informing him of the countless millions he has either just won or is available from some fucked up country for the taking. Get bent, fuckers. Floyd doesn't need your bullshit.





* Spoiled Brats Who Think Everything Is About Them: And you know who you are. Get over yourself. Contrary to your opinion, the fucking world does not revolve around you.




* Subway: "Eat Fresh"? Who the fuck is this assrammer trying to fool? That crap has been stewing in those petrie dishes for fucking weeks, not to mention the pimply-faced degenerates that wipe their asses with their bare hands before making your overpriced lunchmeat sandwich. If making your food in front of you counts as "fresh", Floyd will be happy to serve a turd on a bun for you. Hey, it's Fresh! Jared swallows cum.





* Thanksgiving: If the Indians would have killed a cat instead of a turkey, we all would be eating pussy for Thanksgiving.









* Direct TV: For the love of Christ, stop running this fucking ad!











* Nancy Pelosi: Fuck this bitch.









* Ebay: This is an actual sponsored link Floyd found while searching Google. Floyd ponders how much this cost them and how much assholes are going for on Ebay these days.




* This is just funny: It's funny enough to see booger-eaters in peril, but to Photoshop in the cat is just priceless.









* Mike Tyson: The 40 year old criminal and douchebag has announced he will fight a woman. When Andy Kaufman did it, it was funny. This is just fucking sad.











* New Words: Floyd would like to thank Alexis for supplying the word "slunt" to his vocabulary. The combination of slut and cunt is just what Floyd has been lacking for description of some folks.








* Those wacky, nutty Muslims: The pope quotes some book about a 14th century Byzantine emperor's views on Islam and jihad, and Muslims go fucking nuts. Reportedly, Muslims around the world are "deeply disturbed" and feeling "hurt and anguish" over the pope quoting from a book. What the fuck? "Anyone who describes Islam as a religion as intolerant encourages violence," Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Tasnim Aslam said. Is it just Floyd, or are these fuckers just plain nuts?

Floyd's Lists did this shit at 7:45 AM  6 fucks left hate mail