Specifically, People Who Are Assholes

* Floyd: Yeah, sure, fine. Floyd is an asshole, Floyd should be ashamed, Floyd should shower more, etc.










*A.L.R.: She's still getting top billing under Floyd. She finally contacted Floyd and her suggestion was Floyd. Some people apparently can't read. Here is her hate mail:

Hey there, Floyd, you sick son of a bastard. This is A.L.H., and I've just gotten home from a long day of pissing in the middle of the street. It makes me want to drink beer. YAY BEER!! Listen, I've got someone you can add to your Asshole List. His name is Floyd. He's a short, fat, white, married (read: whipped) guy. He has this crazy idea that it's okay to let you post a picture of my road-pissing at the top of your asshole list, and I suggest that you give him top billing for a while. This man is fucking insane. If he weren't one of my best friends, I'd do everything in my power to have this saber-tooth crotch cricket institutionalized. God knows Floyd's wife could use a break! And, by the way, there's nothing wrong with squatting in the middle of a highly traveled roadway. You should try it some time. It's highly underrated. Now, take me off of your fucking assholes list! I expect to be promoted to the PEOPLE WHO DON'T SUCK list immediately. You do realize, don't you, that I am taking time out of my busy wedding-planning schedule (8 days and counting!!) to submit this nomination. I suggest you honor my wishes and do as I say, or there will be hell to pay, my friend. Sincerely, Road-Pissing A.L.H. (soon to be A.L.R. - and it's not fair that you have my husband-to-be on the people who don't suck list, and I'm stuck up there with all of the bungee-jumping twat monsters like John Kerry. I demand RESPECT, dammit!!!)

* George W. Bush: That’s right, fuckers. And Floyd isn't kidding either. After the horrific display from the left following the 2000 election, you would think this asshole might get a clue that a competent PR guy can do wonders with your public image, AND YOU’RE GOING TO NEED ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET! Wake the fuck up, already!





* Tedward Kennedy: Total and complete douchebag slimey fuck worthy of a ballsack burning. If there is anything to be said about liberals, is that they sure can pick 'em! THIS is the "conscience" of the democratic party. Mr. Conscience who was caught cheating on exams at Harvard. Mr. Conscience who got drunk, killed Mary Jo Kopechne, and got away with it due to his influence. There's more (of course) but enough said. Here's why he's an asshole: his quote "Do we operate under a system of equal justice under law?Or is there one system for the average citizen and another for the high and mighty?" in 1973. Fucking schmuck!

* Rod Blagojevich: Floyd tends to hate anyone named Rod. They usually live up to their name. The undistiguished governor of Illinois lives up to the tradition of all famous Rods in history.









* Gloria Steinem: Bra-burner extraordinaire comes out in a 1998 New York Times op-ed and defends Bill Clinton of every perverse action a man can take against a woman. He plays grab-ass with an unwilling subordinate, Steinem said it was ok because Clinton was just being "dumb and reckless" and ultimately "took 'no' for an answer". She went on further to defend the Throbbing Cock In Chief for all of his little quirks (like not being able to keep his zipper up). That's MY kind of feminism, you fucking bitch.

* Guy Velella: Pussy little bitch. Republican attack dog, don't you know. He was trying to change legislation to make three misdemeanors in ten years be the punitive equivalent to a felony. Big Mr. Tough Guy got caught stealing. The leaking slit cried like a Catholic schoolgirl in trouble to get his reduced sentence reduced even further. Fuck you, asswipe! Stricter laws, except for you? Eat shit you fucking fuck.


* Howard Dean: The Angriest Little Democrat. Floyd could quote this asshole left and right. Dean is proof positive that Indians fucked buffalo.
* Jan Egeland: U.N. Dipshit Esquire calls the United States "stingy". What a douche! Floyd is certain his favorite band is Ace of Base.





* Senator Judd Gregg: Motherfucking cocksucking bastard child of a goat won more than $850,000 from the Powerball lottery. The assramming kitty-fucker already has between $2.5M and $9.5M in assets and he wins the fucking Powerball. FUCK!






* John Kerry: Talk about a megalomaniac - this asshole comes out in front of news cameras 27 days after Bush's inauguration and claims that the nation would be "far better off" if he were President. Asshole had the magic formula to fix all the country's problems in less than a month. It's AMAZING! Shameless douchebag.





* John Edwards: This asshole nearly made the "Sick Fucks" list for this little gem: "when John Kerry is president, people like Christopher Reeve are going to walk, get up out of that wheelchair and walk again". There is a special category of slime that this jagoff oozes.



* Al Gore Before He Lost To Bush: Where to even begin with the inventor of the internet! Swing from my pubes you ape raper!






* Al Gore After He Lost To Bush: Floyd liked this fuckstick better before!











* Bill Clinton: After eight years with this fucking asshole, weed is still fucking illegal. Goddamnit!







* Hillary Clinton: Cuntabulous! Here's a little secret, you whore-biscuit: the reason people think you're evil is because of that deal you have with the devil. Grick me with a spoon you fucking slime!






* THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!









* Moby: The picture says it all: dick head.











* Floyd's Asshole Brother: For all of Floyd's life, there has been no pain in the crotch more irritating than this fuck. Now that he lives in Arizona, he likes to stick your nose in shit when it's cold where you live. Hope you like melanoma, dirty fuck!







* Whoopie Goldberg: If Kirstie Allie can lose 50 pounds, you can too! Unfortunately for you, there's still no cure for ugly. Ram a cactus, you fucking bitch.








* Terry McAullife: There has always been a specific name for this type of loser douchebag cocksmoker. Since the first day Floyd laid eyes on this waste of oxygen, Floyd has always referred to McAullife as a "weenie". Totally appropriate.







* Saddam Hussein: Aww, c'mon Chriaaas...

*Oliver Stone: Considering the gross nature of Stone's paranoid leftist fantasies acted out by Hollywood's hottest, I can't wait to see what this fuckball comes up with for GWB. Gotta love this review of Alexander from John Podhoretz: "It's Springtime For Hitler bad".


* George Lucas: Floyd needs not explain himself. Lucas is an ass, end of story.









* Jim Voigt: The most Christian of bloggers has quite the mouth on him when he sends email. Floyd is not quite sure which list he will fall down to (probably the Asshole list), but he's getting his propers when it comes to his ability to curse. It was the most creative use of imagery since Floyd read the phrase "man chowder". http://accountabilityisking.blogspot.com/






* Barbra Streisand: The only thing that sucks more than her music is her political opinion. Lick ass, bitch!






* Rosie O'Donnell: Repugnant. Enough said.








* Pat Robertson: When Floyd wants your opinion, he'll give it to you. What a complete and worthless pile of ant shit. When this jizz-guzzler finally croaks, and the week-long celebration on earth is over, Floyd imagines he'll be wearing out his cornhole with Saddam's gay lover.



* Janeane Garofalo: Holy FUCK! Was Floyd attracted to this godforsaken beast at a point in his life???? Scratch out his fucking eyeballs right now!!









* Alec Baldwin: Do you graze at the same stable as Garth Brooks?











*Mayor Ray Nagin: Crybaby pussy dirty river rat. Floyd invites you to eat his asshole, you cum bucket!









* Maddox: Some people will just never understand how much cock pirates suck. Don't believe Floyd? Just have a look at the mountains of latent homosexuality: http://maddox.xmission.com/






* Scott Peterson: What a dumb fuck! Laci was HOT and Amber is bile. Now you'll ride the lightning and none of us will miss you. You're too fucking pathetic to be on the Sick Fuck list.









Assholes Floyd hasn't gotten to yet:

* Sheila Jackson Lee

* Randall Robinson

* Ingrid Newkirk

* Robert Byrd

* Maxine Waters

* Jim McDermott

* Julian Bond

* Judge Roy Moore

* George Soros

* Al Sharpton

* Ralph Neas

* Margaret Marshall

* Jesse Jackson

* Stephanie Tubbs Jones

* Barbara Boxer

* Joe Biden