Monday, August 14, 2006

Book Time, Fuckers

If a faggot pirate can do it, why not Floyd? Much of the contents of this site, plus never before seen material, hate mail and otherwise brilliant commentary will find itself within the contents of a nice hard cover book. Floyd will keep you fuckers updated with the progress.

Once again, Floyd extends an invitation to any and all of you fuckfaces to participate in this thing. Suggestions are fine, photos and artwork are better. One lucky fuckface out there will be chosen to write the Foreword. Read the site and write your worst. Send your submission to floydslists@hotmail.com in any normal Windows text file or feel free to submit it here in the comments.

Floyd also cordially reminds you that your ass called and it wants your head back.

***Update, fuckers:

Floyd had no idea how much you all sucked until he suggested that you send your submissions for the book Foreword. Absolute tripe. Scott Duster has submitted the front-running entry and it seems doubtful that any of you assrammers will be able to do any better. Eat shit.

***Another update, douchebags:

Kudos to Scott Duster, Anne R. Key, Toxic Twat and Darth Clinton. All have submitted work that will go to print. Keep those cards and letters coming, fuckfaces.

12 Hate Mails:

Blogger Jim V dribbled...

Okay, you moldy fuck-stain, I commend you for finally admitting that you would be incapable of writing anything worthwhile by yourself and that you need the help of people at least slightly higher than "gnat" on the intellectual food-chain.

But I don't think your old Garfield Trapper Keeper qualifies as a "hard cover book". You'll actually have to write some substance, which you have yet to ever do. Oh wait, I forgot, that's what WE are all supposed to do for YOU.

I'll get around to helping you write your damn book when I'm good and ready. I've got more important things to do now, like getting myself qualified to represent you against the class action lawsuit that will be filed after you publish this roll of toilet paper...

4:38 AM  
Blogger Jim V dribbled...

Oh yeah, thanks for the computer you useless pile of manure.

4:44 AM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Floyd is happy to say you're welcome to Jim V for his computer. You earned it - Floyd has never had his ballsack licked for that long before.

Response has been underwhelming thus far. Of the 15 submissions sent, 14 are completely unusable and 1 is feeble at best. Let's get on it, fuckers!

2:31 PM  
Blogger Jim V dribbled...

No, not hip, but I do think he now qualifies for a long list of government assistance programs.

4:43 AM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Floyd cordially invites you all to smell his hog, queerbaits.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Floyd laments that latecomers (to the tune of 30 days) are complaining that they need more time. Nothing has been sent to print yet - have at it.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Jim V dribbled...

What exactly are we supposed to be sending you?

9:20 AM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

No rules, no regulations.

12:09 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Promises, motherfucking promises...

4:55 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Ahem - five. Apparently, Floyd needs to change his name to Chopped Liver...

1:03 PM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

Awwww...Floyd just went all gooey.

10:45 AM  
Blogger Floyd's Lists dribbled...

"Dollarstore douchebag". Floyd is pleased.

10:01 AM  

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