Hate Mail Archives 3
Here's some leftovers for you to munch on after you're done eating Floyd's asshole.
* HBO: Seriously, Floyd only needed to see The Chronicles of Riddick once. Please, for fuck sake, stop running this filth.
* Marriott: What the fuck inspires a chain of hotels to eliminate smoking rooms altogether? Scud missile time.
* Flag Burners: Floyd supports your right to burn the United States flag so long as you support Floyd's right to kick the ever loving shit out of you when you do.
* 16 Fucking Assholes: Click here, fuckers 
* Hezbollah: Floyd's got something for you diaperheads. Floyd thinks it's time for us to stop being pussies and mushroom these assclowns.
* Bostonians: The dumbest of fucks. $14.6 billion for a fucking tunnel, let alone one that's all fucked up. Floyd laments how retarded (pronounced re-tah-did if you're a dumbfuck Bostonian) an entire city can be. Collect up all of these morons, put them in the fucking tunnel and let it collapse. Time to thin the herd.
* Syd Barrett: Floyd bids a fond farewell to Pink Floyd co-founder, dead at 60. Shine on.
* Floyd: Floyd still kicks the shit out of all you asscrammers. Try and create anything close to this, fuckers.
* Scott Duster: Floyd laments that a certain assrammer cried like a fucking pussy that his listing was being moved. This regardless of him never updating his crappy site Duster the Motherfucker or even showing a hint of being a man in the carnal sense. 
* Your Daughter's Virginity: She begged Floyd to take it from her. Don't worry, Floyd gave her something in return - down her throat.
* Panhandling Bongo-Playing Dirty Hippie Fucks: No description necessary.
* Skateboarders: Get a life, fucking faggots.
* Robosaurus: 40 foot tall, fire-breathing, car eating machine. Every fucking household should have one. Yes, that's an actual car in its claws.
* Boreback Mountain: One of Floyd's bitches talked him into watching this filth. Even the gay porn scenes were fucking boring. Ever watch paint dry or snails fuck? Riveting as compared to this monkey shit.
* JoeCartoon.com: This is some funny shit! Most memorable quotes: "I was frequently shaved against my will by Michael Jackson's monkey", "Mickey Mouse is an Uncle Tom living in a white man's castle while we stand oppressed", and "Janet Reno is the fire that ignites my loins". Fuck yeah.
* Lesbian Porn: Floyd recently reviewed his lists in full and laments the glaring lack of lesbian pornography. Consider this situation rectified.
* More Lesbian Porn: Because Floyd can.
* Funny Cartoons: As always, it's about the comedy.
* Hate Mailers: Not nearly enough brave souls lately! It makes Floyd's rectum itchy. Get off your asses and spread some hate, fuckers!
* Drunk Chicks: Just for the record, "dónde está el baño" does not mean "bend over backwards", but thanks for playing...
* Blogger, The Domain: While free, this system still sucks the big fat one.
* Midget Beers: What fucking douchebag thought this up? Floyd wants larger beers, not smaller. Fuck! Floyd doesn't speak Spanish, so he had no idea he was buying midget beers until it was too fucking late. Crotch crickets!
Don Julio: Fucking asshole! Floyd's head hurts...
Floyd's Useless Fuckstain Readers: No more contests for you.
* Ben: The ass-fucker broke Floyd's nose! It was worth every bit of it.
Floyd's Lists did this shit at 12:57 AM
51 Hate Mails:
Heh-heh...great picture of Ben.
That's how he usually looks...
More queefing from moussy douche Ben:
Wow, fucker!
Where's my last fucking hate mail? Too proud to show the world that it was I, the almighty Ben, was the one who prompted your unorganized ass to make your hate mails more accessible. I can already see your reply, you dipshit:
"Floyd hates himself for letting Ben any shot it on him. Floyd would stab himself in the heart if his wrists weren't so limp."
P.S. Even with a dick on my face I look better then you.
is that a red penis on his cheek?
Yes - just like he likes it...
"Floyd would stab himself inthe heart if his wrists weren't so limp"...
ROFL.
I wish you guys would write to my mechanic...
Floyd--
Fuckface, if you are going to quote hillbillies, at least get it right. I believe Bart's exact words were, "Why does it always seem like I'm having more fun then anyone else?" And that colostomy bag of a bartender Ben wasn't even working. I bet he wishes that was a real cock on his cheek.
How appropriate that his name was Bart. As Floyd is certain you already know, Ben has confided to many of his desire to have several cocks on his face at the same time.
And up his ass. I would have loved to see the slap that broke you nose, pussy!
It was a harder slap than the one Floyd uses on your momma. Floyd cordially invites you to eat a booger.
Tell your pussy ass brother I said Happy Birthday. Then kiss him on the mouth and let him feel your ass like you usually do.
you appear to have been mentioned on http://cyclinggeeks.blogspot.com
Floyd, My G-d you crack me the fuck up! I laughed so hard reading this shit. Keep it up man! By the way, I am one of those asshole Cartoonists!
Floyd is always happy to receive the Rouge Jew. Floyd encourages you to review all of the lists as the new listings eventually become old and need to be placed in their permanent spots among the malcontents of society.
Jim, you ignorant slut. The site you refer is about some cock-smoking bicycle faggot. Floyd was done with his bike when he began driving. Floyd cordially invites you to blowdry his nutsack.
Duster, didn't Floyd see you giving head to another man the other night?
Floyd,
Are you quite certain that the invitation to blowdry your nutsack is cordially extended?
Like, really?
All of Floyd's invitations are cordially presented. Like, really.
Hey, dicksmack, it's been days since the Don Julio post. Are you gonna contribute sometime or are you too busy sticking various organic vegetables up your ass to stretch your sphincter?
Get in the game, buttmunch.
Dicksmack? Did Floyd deserve that? Perhaps you would like to personally come and smack Floyd's dick? And fuck organic! Only chemically altered vegetables for Floyd's rectum.
don julio?
no no non nnon0ononoooooooo
god dammit
Patron = no headaches
I leave the rest to marriage
Man. Why aren't more hot Republican girls out there running for office?
I mean aren't there enough fat white guys in the GOP already?
Damn, I am still laughing at that chick! Real conversation:
Drunk Chick: Yous guyss can't speak Splanish
Floyd: Donde esta el bano?
Drunk Chick: Bend over backwars? Wha...?
Scott and Floyd: Paralyzed with laughter.
Floyd then left with the woman. She had a very distinct smell of chicken. And she had a mustache. Must have been no men willing to take Floyd home, so he substituted the closest thing...
Her whiskers tickled Floyd's balls...
Floyd, at your invitation, I came to hate. Drunks chicks seriously suck--I was woken up from a deep sleep last night by some sloshed twat and her meat stick, who thought that having a screaming match outside at 2:00 am was the best way to settle their dispute. It became so heated that the constabulary were summoned. I'm no fan of the pigs, generally, but there was no sweeter wound last night than "This is the police. On the ground!"
Floyd, I've been giving blow jobs at the local Canberra airport for the past six months to fund your tuition at charm school, I come back, and what do I find?? When am I going to see results?
Anne must realize at some time in her life that skidmarks on men's underwear should be considered "normal wear-and-tear". Until she grows thick, coarse hair out of her bunghole, she has no clue.
Toxic Twat has much to answer for! All this time Floyd has been pondering where you might be, and never checked the motherfucking Canberra airport. What kind of fucking horseshit is it when blowjobs are given to pay for your charm school and you (1) don't get to go to charm school and (2)don't get a fucking blowjob!
If you ask Floyd, this is pure excrement.
Floyd,
You call that lesbian porn? I don't see a single fist in either of those photographs.
Amateur!
Not everyone likes a fist in the pooper like you do.
Together, Janet Reno and I can rule the universe as Father and Son. There will be no one to stop us this time.
I am captivated by Anne's use of the term "meat stick".
Those goddamn bongo-playing hippie panhandler fucks.....
"Do you like, have any spare change, man?"
Fuck you. Put down the fucking bongos, and get a goddamn job. I don't work my ass off so you can sit around on the street corner and play hackeysack all day long, fucker. And for fuck's sake, DEODORANT!!!!!!!! You smell like a goddamn Gyro cart.
Floyd has identified the scent as "Old Ape-Ass".
A pandhandler once stopped me on the street to say (and I swear I'm not making this up), "Could you spare some change to help me pay off my panhandling fine?"
I used the words "meat stick" on him,I think.
Still, I would sooner put up with a dozen of him than even one surly little skateboarding pissbucket. It never ceases to amaze me that, no matter how long or how hard they practice, they still SUCK.
Good call, Floyd.
Jege deserves the credit.
I don't have any hate mail for you.
I do have boobs.
How fucking smart is that? I forgot the fucking address.
http://wholikesbewbs.blogspot.com/
Ah, the comfort of tits. The tattoo is familiar.
Farewell, Syd.
Without Syd, there would have been no Pink Floyd. Without Pink Floyd, then Floyd's name might have been Lennon or something fucking stupid like that. Plus, Syd's music and lyrics are still some of the coolest shit Floyd has ever encountered. Although out of the public eye for some time, he will still be missed. Floyd can only hope that the remaining members of the band can quit their fucking squibbling and do a US tour, perhaps in honor of their fallen brethren.
That's quite a cut lunch Syd Barrett's got in that photo,I'm betting that all his swimmers died somewhat prematurely. Does Floyd wear his pants like that too?
Twatty should know that Floyd wears no pants. Can't you tell by the grin?
"pronounced re-tah-did if you're a dumbfuck Bostonian"
I am officially laughing. Thanks!
Floyd is unfortunate enough to have to talk to dumbfuck Bostonians on a regular basis. The phrase "English as a second language" comes to mind. A simple guide to dumbfuck:
The letter "r" should not sound like "ah" (as in "retahded")
The letter "a" should not sound like an "o" (as in "let's go to the moll" or "I need some wotah")
Fuck!
Regarding Assholes for sale on eBay; I find this puzzling in the extreme. Surely, everyone in the world has noticed that they are surrounded by fucking assholes--why would anyone purchase more?
Unless it is to kill them? Slowly and painfully?
Well just look at this stanky ass blog and it's varied pile of scabies scrapings that hangs out here. That queefy smell o' Floyd was seeping in under the edges of the other blog pages, and I just had to come see what could possibly emanate eau de santorum up the web pipes. Butt pirates galore. Thank gawd Jege is here to class the place up and keep the mimes well-punched. Hello, and fuck you all very smartly.
Floyd finds this amusing. Criticism of a blog from someone who has the sum total of one picture of a dog as their entire blog. Floyd imagines this would be the extent of your creative abilities. Fuck you very much and thanks for stopping by, douchebag.
Glad to amuse, Mr. I-refer-to-myself-in-the-third-person. It appears that insults are not only expected here, but required. Just trying to play along, mate. If this is a friends only circle-jerk, I'll gladly be on me way. A question if you take 'em: As the things that Floyd despises are legion (and well documented), then what, if anything, does Floyd actually approve of?
Floyd laments the lack of reading comprehension associated with some of his fuckstain readers. Perhaps if you care to take a remedial course on reading, you might notice one of Floyd’s lists is “People Who Don’t Suck”. Additionally, you will also notice such listing titles as “This Is Just Funny”, “New Words” which thanked someone for the word “slunt”, a tribute to “Syd Barrett”, a tribute to “Robosaurus”, a tribute to “JoeCartoon.com”, “Lesbian Porn”, “Funny Cartoons”, “Canadians”, “Toxic Twat” (the blogger, not the actual substance, and “Jack In The Box” to name a few. There is also a “Floyd’s Man of the Year 2005”.
Floyd refers to himself in the third person because he can, so deal with it. This is not a “friends-only” site and playing along is encouraged. Pursuant to reading comprehension, note in the first paragraph of the site: “Attempt, if you might, to leave some hate mail here, or receive your very own guaranteed response by emailing your feeble grime to floydslists@hotmail.com.” Floyd cordially invites you to continue to take his abuse here. Floyd also cordially invites you to polish his knob.
Floyd's lamenting must mean that he actually believes that new readers to his blob will actually suffer through the entirety of his written effluent before either hurling, or addressing some dirty wordies back toward Floyd, or both. Comprehension or the lack there-of doesn't really factor.
Thanks for your defensive happy-post-summary though...
I'm also glad that Floyd "can" refer to himself in the third person; that is an advanced skill, and Floyd should be proud. I guess the concept of "should" will come later at the short-bus school.
Floyd is likewise cordially invited to enjoy a frothy menstrual milkshake.
Only if there is a cherry on top.
Is 'suspicious poultry' a farm bird you suspect has been buggered by your neighbour's redneck kids?
suspected buggery nuthin' - that was honest to jay-zeus buggery of the highest order. Cracked my omelet, that bastard did...
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